As i lay in bed for the second day in a row, avoiding all human contact as much as possible, with a cold sore that is slowly manifesting into something i cant even describe. I suddenly came to the realization of how much i need to vent about life. My problems in life are simple, men and sex. i want both but cant have neither. first and foremost, i dont have sex because i am trying to wait till marriage. Got myself a cute promise ring and everything. Unfortuantely, its nots as easy as it sounds. I made love for the past two years to my boyfriend at the time on a weekly bases and stopping cold turkey has really taken a toll on me. I am very involved in my church life and well.. the only men i see myself with are Christian. So the only men i do see are from my church… thing is.. thats well frowned upon. Some live in Christian livings so they cant have girlfriends and well… i may not be there girlfriend but we sure are doing things a couple does.
Long story short.
I am currently seeing…lets call him paul, He is a brazilian bombshell. Everything i want in a man. he is sweet, compassionate and dry humps me like there is no tomorrow. He claims to be in love with me and its only been like three weeks. As much as i appreciate what he says…i just dont believe it..
flash back to 9 months ago, my exboyfriend i dated for 2.5 years broke my heart. He was a lying pig and i forgave him at least 100 times and he would go out and make the same mistakes. needless to say, i have some trust issues.
let’s see what the future has in store wish my luck. ;)